One reason we need government: Foster Farms

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We eat a ton of Foster Farms chicken. Then I read the following article tonight. 

Foster Farms? More like Salmonella Farms.

I know it’s easy to get on our government about how much they suck at times, which I do, as I can’t stand Congress, except for Senator Elizabeth Warren, but the government does provide some good services. As in policing the companies that provide our food.

Not looking so hot today, Foster.

Not looking so hot today, Foster.

On top of the Salmonella concern, once again the continued use of antibiotics in our food supply rears its head. How long is this going to continue? Does anyone still think it’s a good idea? Years from now, this is one of those actions people will look back at and shake their heads, wondering how we could have been so stupid.

Worst of all, the example above is just one of many stories each week of companies pushing the boundaries of what not to do. Without government, though far from perfect, we’d be hosed and puking chicken casserole into a toilet while the banks took crazy risks with our money.

Hold it? What the hell. That’s already happened. Our government sucks. Never mind.

My wife decides not to leave me for Jackson Browne

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She was two feet away from him, back to back – close enough to inhale his rock-star pheromones and hear his “Running on Empty” voice talking to the people behind us in line.

The moment she’d waited for her entire life was here.

The man, the artist, standing right there, within arm’s reach, as we waited to see him and other musicians perform a benefit concert at the Theatricum Botanicum in Topanga Canyon. 

What cruel twist of fate brought this choice to her now, after all of these years of waiting, hoping?

She needed to decide: say nothing, or seize the opportunity to meet the man of her teenage dreams after years of longing and listening to his music, first on scratchy records, then CDs that could easily be played over and over again until the laser in the CD player burned out. And of course there were the dreamy posters of Jackson with his cool rock-star hair and model good looks.

Oh, Jackson, if we ever meet, it will be love at first sight for the two of us. 

I must say that Jackson Browne seemed like a very cool guy. He hung out in the line with some friends before the show, and sat on stage the entire concert and watched the other artists. The joke all week prior to the concert was telling my daughter that we might have to hold her mother back from rushing the stage. But there we were four rows back and my wife stayed put.

[click to enlarge} I must say that Jackson Browne seemed like a very cool guy. He hung out in the line with some friends before the show, and sat on stage the entire concert and watched the other artists. The joke all week prior to the concert was telling my daughter that we might have to hold her mother back from rushing the stage. But there we were four rows back and my wife stayed put. BTW, though JB played only one song, the concert and other artists were amazing.

All she had to do was turn around, look him in the eyes, and say, “I’ve dreamed about you for years. I’m yours, kiss me now, I’ll leave my husband and we’ll run away and live off of your money until the end, which, because you’re older, will probably come sooner.”

But she didn’t. She chose me over of an aging multimillionaire rock star. Yes, me, a genetically defective mutant who spends several weeks each year in the hospital.

And all I have to say is, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, HONEY? That was your chance and you blew it.

Poor Jackson. He’ll never know the love and goodness he missed out on.

Underdog 1, Jackson Browne 0.

One simple Obamacare thought for the day that I’m probably completely wrong about

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I guarantee this isn’t a political post – I dislike all politicians these days except for Elizabeth Warren who I think we should clone and elect as Senator in every state. And clone and vote in as President and Vice-President as well.

Senator Warren, please accept my invitation to join my family for dinner anytime you'd like. Call me.

Senator Warren, please accept my invitation to join my family for dinner anytime you’d like. Call me.

So, aside from my 100% E.W. government fantasy, another thought keeps going through my head and I wonder if anyone else has had it or if it’s just me.

Here is it: I wonder if those in our government who oppose Obamacare do so because if the program is allowed to stay in place, it frees those who work for corporate America to be choosier about where they work, and even grants them more freedom to start their own businesses.

This theory centers around the thought that many people stay with their corporate jobs because of the benefits, specifically health care. But now with the opportunity to buy health insurance free of a company job, what will that do to the power of corporations over our lives? And, would it make it easier for people to quit a job they didn’t like and move on without the fear of losing benefits in the process?

So, that’s my thought for the day. I’m pretty sure I have it wrong.

Parenting for the upcoming zombie wars

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As my daughter approaches her teen years, my level of stress and worry increases: drugs, alcohol, guns, driving, high school drama, school shootings, men and boys that may want to hurt her, ineffective antibiotics, the bird flu, and who knows what else my mind can conjure up.

Wait, I do know: the end of the world and the complete breakdown of society as we know it.

I've been watching too many Walking Dead episodes. © Jeffrey Collingwood - Fotolia.com

I’ve been watching too many Walking Dead episodes. © Jeffrey Collingwood – Fotolia.com

There I said it. Throw me in an underground holding tank with a deck of Uno cards and the rest of the doomsday nuts.

However, before you do, I wonder if I and others haven’t been approaching parenting the wrong way. I mean we’re the protective generation of parents, aren’t we? We do everything we can to keep our children safe, which is a good thing. But I  wonder if we should have been looking at the “big picture” instead of worrying about our kids falling off a swing at the park, or riding a skateboard without knee pads.

Like doing more to make sure they inherit a habitable Earth.

I know other generations of parents have worried about their children and the future. However, are we the first parents to ever have the concern of our planet being so screwed up it won’t be able to sustain life?

And, as life heads to a possible end with food and water shortages, overpopulation, a larger percentage of poor, rising sea levels and global warming, what will those last years of life on the planet be like?

Yes, I worry too much. I know. I just wonder while the majority of us are working our asses off, and paying bills, and putting food on the table, and figuring out how to pay medical bills, and stressing about our jobs, who is keeping the planet safe from harm?

Was that up to us too?

I think it was.

Treadmill Desk: 3-month Update

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Three months down, a lifetime to go. Here are my observations:

My fingernails and toenails grow faster. I know that sounds odd, like I’m Howard Hughes holed up in Mexico watching Ice Station Zebra, but I swear I cut them more often, especially my fingernails.

I can put my pants on without falling over. That makes me sound like a drunk or something, but I have incredible stability now. It doesn’t mean I can stand in front a of moving train and stop it, but I can give flamingos a run for their money.

I’ve tripled my weekly distance. I went back and looked at my first blog posts. I started with weekly mileage in the 20s. Not I’m walking between 55 and 70 miles a week. My daily record is 16 miles.

I walk faster. My minimum speed now is 1.3 MPH, but I can type at up to 2.7 MPH, though the more concentration I need, the slower I go.

The detritus of cystic fibrosis pollutes any desk.

The detritus of cystic fibrosis pollutes any desk.

My conditioning has improved. At a work dinner this week in Manhattan Beach, I dreaded walking up the hills to the van after a dinner of raw clams, scallops, french fries, and three scoops of ice cream, including a maple-bacon flavor that made cry it was so good. Surprise, I made it and didn’t feel completely winded. And, I kept talking while I walked. Miracle.

My work pants fit better. I’ve lost about five pounds, and most of it seems to be from around my waist. I still eat too many Mini M&M’s.

Treadmill desks get just as messy as regular desks. I need to move my Denver Broncos trash can closer.

Last thought: I wish I’d started walking while working years ago. I’d be in much better shape today.

The video on stress that helped me a great deal

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Based on the number of stress-caused visits I’ve made to the emergency room in my lifetime, I’m the last person to give advice on dealing with stress.

To the rescue: ted.com.

I share this video in the interest of helping others deal with something I’ve done a really lousy job of overcoming. And, thanks to the the content of this video, I think about stress in a different way now.

Who knew it was so simple?

What keeps me up at night

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I believe we make our own luck, but that doesn't mean it's not fragile and fleeting.

I believe we make our own luck, but that doesn’t mean it’s not fragile and fleeting.

For a long time it was stress and the fear of not waking up. Now, it’s something else. When I finally figured it out, it surprised me – a lot.

It’s luck.

Yes, luck, and thinking how lucky I am to have everything I have. A great and caring wife, a perfectly imperfect daughter, 1,850 sq. ft of house, with equity, black and yellow labradors, good friends, a job.

Life hasn’t always been this way for me. But it has been lately.

I am grateful for having so much in a world growing hotter every year, filled with too many people living in poverty, and too many people who believe they never have enough, though I can’t exclude myself from that last category many days. I’m surrounded by daily reminders of great wealth in Los Angeles: McMansions, 100K+ cars, and an environment where my daughter counted how many kids in her class brought MacBook Pros to school, making her inexpensive ASUS seem inferior, though I will be speaking to her that it’s not the computer that matters, it’s what you do with it.

But what keeps me up nights is thinking about how lucky I am and how I could have it so much worse than I do. And wondering when I will.

Disney Infinity: Best Video Game Ever?

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I built a racetrack in the sky with two double loops and a ton of banked turns, and lots of undulations. I played as one-eyed Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc., and my daughter became Violet from The Incredibles.

My big mistake: building it in the air. One slip of the steering wheel and it's a long way down.

My big mistake: building it in the air. One slip of the steering wheel and it’s a long way down.

She rode a horned-pig and I drove Mr. Incredible‘s car. But she was faster with the darn pig, as I kept driving off the track, cursing myself for building the track in the sky and not on land. 

So, I got my own pig.

And she beat me again.

But I was leading the second race when I crossed through the last loop-da-loop and headed for home. Things looked good until she and her cursed pig came out of nowhere and bumped me off the track. 

Falling, falling, falling, my hopes of winning dashed by an 11-year old delivering a blow as low as I’ve ever seen, making me angry and proud at the same time.

I would have done the same.

Deviled-pig racing is just one of the games we’ve created on Disney Infinity. We fought a paintball war royale. We raced cars at high-speed all over an empty island playing a game of car tag, and we’ve had numerous helicopter battles. And we’ve redesigned the different areas with buildings and towers and rope bridges.

In a nutshell: We heart Disney Infinity.

They call it a pig. I call it getting your rear-end kicked by your daughter riding something that loosely resembles a pig.

They call it a pig. I call it getting your rear-end kicked by your daughter riding something that loosely resembles a pig.

Is it the best video game I’ve ever played? I’m not sure yet, but it’s up there because of our ability to use our imaginations and create our own games. The only downside is the potential cost of buying add-ons, like more characters and trading packs that cost 5 bucks a pop and give you more powers.

Can you say, Disney Goldmine?

There is, however, a happy ending to my story.

My daughter and I had another pig race across floating islands we connected with rope bridges, and, just as young Violet was about to cross the finish line and win, I, Mr. Incredible, nailed her in the back with a paintball, causing her to run headfirst into a boulder, and allowing me to pass her and win.

I realize there’s a lot wrong with a sentence like that but it was all in good virtual fun and I won, teaching the young one never to underestimate the power of someone who wasted his youth in arcades playing Frogger and Pac-man, and who hates to lose.