I was in an informal interview this week and out of nowhere the person I was interviewing with asked: “What’s your dream job?”

I was caught off guard. WTF. Where did that cookie-cutter of a question come from? We were chatting casually and “boom,” serious question. I didn’t see it coming.

My first thought: Something with dogs, which would be the worst answer since the company I was interviewing with has nothing to do with dogs, other than allowing them in their office, which is very cool. I’d like to open my own dog training center. Doubt that’s going to happen.

I spit out something awkward about working in a team environment, which is true. I’m not working in one now. That’s making me depressed. I don’t like working in a “hero” culture, thinking more about office politics than what project I’m going to write. Nope, that’s not the right environment for me. Maybe when I was young, but not now.

I spent two hours in the interview. The woman leading it was very nice and fun and, according to my friend who works for her, a great person to work for. Next step: meeting the VP.

Now, all of that was the easy part. Thinking about what happens if I make it through the interview process is the hard part. That’s thanks to CF.

What do I say about not being able to travel very often, never overseas, or in the winter? Working out of the hospital? How do I explain a hospital visit? Insurance? Hmm. Sounds simpler on paper, but in my head it’s a hurricane of fear and anxiety.

In a perfect world, I’d have my own business. The challenge is getting healthcare, of course, thanks to my preexisting condition. Health insurance is rigged so you have to stay with a company to get it. It shouldn’t be that way. But that’s a rant for another day. In the meantime, change is definitely on the way.