Ignoring WordPress’s suggested topic for post a day

WordPress is kind enough to send suggestions for my October post-a-day marathon. Today’s is: Describe a dream you’ve had more than once.

As I would rather eat glass or have my head transform into a giant flaming tomato that explodes, leaving the walls of the kitchen covered in burning red pulp, than hear someone describe last night’s romp into their demented brain-space, I will spare you the same pain and suffering today.

Guess what I've dreamed about more than once

You’re welcome.

I do have a confession about dreams, my wife’s dreams. I can’t stand hearing those either.

You would think it would make a difference because I love her and am married to her. No, not a bit.

When she starts to tell me about one, which is often because she dreams a lot and remembers every excruciating detail of them, I can’t bolt the room fast enough, unless she’s trapped me while we’re driving in the car.  I sometimes contemplate jumping out of the moving car, a no-no for low insurance rates, or running away screaming while stopped at a light, a no-no for the long-term success of one’s marriage.

Listening to a spouse’s dreams has to be one of the most difficult parts of being married, right up there next to listening to them sing while they’re using an iPod and headphones, which is the vocal equivalent of fingernails on a blackboard or a knife slicing across a dinner plate. Enough to make you lose your mind, which explains a lot in my case.

My nugget of useless advice today: keep dreaming – but keep them to yourself.