Some days, it’s hard being a husband

Message from Fox: Unknown, you big pussy. Get off your lazy ass and make the magic happen. You're the king of excuses.

Message from Fox: Unknown, you big pussy. Get off your lazy ass and make the magic happen. You’re the king of excuses.

I should have paid more attention in school when I was younger.

If only my parents had given me a modicum of guidance how to be successful in life, though they weren’t exactly models of it.

It probably would have been better had I not spent years 18 – 25 watching TV, going to movies, reading comic books, thinking I wouldn’t live to see 25, and not doing anything to build for my future.

Oops. Slight miscalculation on my part.

Would have, should have, could have. Famous last words of most f**k-ups.

And though I feel like I turned my life around by finishing college and getting a good job, I am paying a price for my stupidity and laziness that reveals itself – painfully – in my role as husband.

The short of it: My wife hates her job, but it affords her a very good salary for part-time work, though she works full-time a lot, which is sort of the American way, isn’t it? We all work more hours than we have to for fear we’ll lose our jobs to one of the many unemployed.

But aren’t there so many unemployed out there because we’re working extra hours and companies don’t have to hire more employees?

I digress with a topic for another post.

If I were a successful husband, my wife would not have to work, would be happier, and we would have everything we need based on the results of my labor.

We do all right and aren’t living paycheck to paycheck like we were many years ago. And I know some of the responsibility lies with the fact this country demands both parents work to get by – it’s not the 1950s anymore. But I live in a city full of million-dollar homes and 75K cars and its difficult not to notice and want.

It’s hard not to feel like a failure when my wife comes to me each day with stories about her stressful job, and I see the toll it takes on her. And no amount of my advice, suggestions, or feedback can save her from it. And there’s no way to rescue her with the income from the company I don’t own, or the invention I never invented, or the stand-up career I never had because I was afraid.

I have yet to crack the code of big success, despite what some say about it being so easy in a country of opportunity. It’s beyond me. I’m still trying, but time is running out.

2 thoughts on “Some days, it’s hard being a husband

  1. UC my friend,

    We’ve all been there and questioned the what ifs? and the why didn’t I? Suppose that’s just human nature for those of us who really care. We are never really satisfied and always feel we could have done more or made life better for ourselves and the ones who really matter.

    Though I don’t really know you that well, I do feel as though you have been quite successful and have achieved many things to be proud of and I am sure your wife and daughter are extremely proud of you also.

    Those million dollar-homes and 75k cars are nice indeed but I can guarantee some are miserable who live there. Not really the measure of a man’s wealth.

    I understand that you feel bad about your wife working in an environment that is less than enjoyable and would love to rescue her from that, but keep positive thoughts. Sometimes a welcomed change is only hours away.

    I don’t fear failure. I fear succeeding at something that doesn’t matter.–Dan Erickson

    one more…

    And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. –Abraham Lincoln

    Wishing you the best.

    • Larry,

      I was going to email you this week. I watched and finished House of Cards. Excellent. Thanks for the tip. I wish season 2 was ready to go. I really enjoyed it. Also, it made me rethink this post you’re commenting on. I think it’s about power not money, and I may write a future post about this.

      I agree with you about never feeling satisfied. That’s me. After watching Story of Stuff, I felt a little better because we’re a country of people constantly manipulated to feel like we don’t have enough. But it goes deeper than that with me and it sound like it does for you too.

      Ah, my wife. It’s hard being on the outside of that in a way. I wish I could hop into her mind and give a dose of confidence and make her not worry so much. It’s a job that was supposed to last a few months and now it’s gone on for years. She needs a nothing to lose attitude.

      Thanks for the good quotes. I do, however, fear failure – and creating one-off PowerPoints.

      You rock.

      Thanks for writing and beating me to it.


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