(Written on my iPad in my hospital bed; please excuse typos)
Day 12 of the endurance test continues. After 9 days of fountain-worthy bleeds, one bronchoscopy, two separate embolizations, morphine dreams, four days in a hell called ICU, and steroid hallucinations, the demon known as Hemoptysis has withdrawn. No traces today. Just unfriendly memories. But I’m not out of the woods yet. The 11 days of vacation from airway clearway may have felt nice, but did a number on my lungs. The bacteria have fled to their bunkers and it’s taking the big bombs and hypertonic saline to loosen their hold.
Afternoons are still tough. I do a header into bed like a drunk Olympic diver who hit his head on the edge of the board – I get zero points for my bellyflop entry. I’m still on O2, which is thanks to the lack of airway clearance, inflammation and the party juice they gave me during eight hours of procedures. I’m proud it took them a ton of drug to knock me out. I remember cracking bad jokes right before the bronch and hearing someone say “how much have you given him?” Then I heard about the amount before the second procedure because they were surprised how much it took to shut me up (my wife asked for some to go). We’re not talking about Michael Jackson status here, but the King of Pop and I could have partied together, IVs in tow to see who who could stay awake the longest. Unfortunately, my lungs are still paying the price for my endurance and there’s no “hair of the dog” cure sitting around ready to be mixed.
Embolization hangovers are the worst.
I’m making light of a serious situation again. I hate when I do that. Shit, I’m alive. And I can tell you that this experience made me realize I got everything I wanted in life. I have two California girls who love me and who I’m going to hug like stuffed animals when I get out of here. That’s more than enough to get me through life. More than enough. I am the luckiest guy in the world. Believe it. I do.
So glad the bleeding is gone. I was getting worried when there was so much silence on the airways. I hope you can clear out your lung beasts without causing anymore bleeding. Seems like that would be tricky. Hang in there.
Been following you closely as of late. I’m damn happy to hear you pulled through and am looking forward to the post that says you’re back home. Unknown hugs to the unknown cystic and unknown family.
And now we play “The Recovery Game”…aaaah, “The Recovery Game” sucks! Let’s just take a magic fix-it pill and play Hungry, Hungry, Hippos instead!
I’m so sorry this past few months have been such a long haul for you… Glad the bleeding has stopped, but I’m bummed about the extra junk. I know you’ll neb and flutter until it runs away and hides. Thinking (and worrying) about you…
Here for you with every post and thank god the bleeding is done! Now get those lungs clear and get your a$$ home!!
Thinking about you kicking butt everyday my man.
Good to hear that you are on the way back to your normal self! Well as normal as a man who wears a bag and talks to imaginary animals can be. Everyone here sends their good wishes for your speedy recovery.
Hope you got the strength to open that book mate. loads of love from us in the westcountry.
Fantastic! So does that mean no more couch camping for the gude with the paper bag over his head? Your back will love you for it… unless your mattress sucks, of course.
I think I’ve got the same tolerance for drugs, but I don’t remember any conversations about needing to give me more when I’ve had twilight. I made it all the way down to “6” counting backwards from 10 before surgery once. Counting backwards from 20 is MUCH harder, as I only got to “17,” LOL. See, I might light of crap, too.
Good at ya.
Sometimes making light is the only way we can cope. Im notorious for cracking jokes or laughing at inappropriate times….we do what works for us. Those who know us best can see through the jokes to the pain, the anxiety, worry or fear.
Keep fighting. We’re all here cheering you on.
All of my best to you and your california girls.
much love ~j
so glad to see your update. i was worried there! happy to hear the blood fountain stopped. wishing you a speedy recovery…
Whew!! What a rocky run you have had, UC. I’m so sorry this has happened to you, but glad to hear the ordeal is over. I was getting nervous. Thank you for updating us even when you probably don’t feel like it.
Hang in there and hoping you feel better SOON!
Feel better and hang in there. You certainly have a lot on your plate. Those California girls have one heck of a guy and I’m sure they are waiting anxiously to have you back home. I may not know you personally but your kind words have meant a lot to me, and I hope you recover quickly.