I’m grateful for my wife and daughter and two labs, though the black one is a pain in the ass sometimes, but in a good way, or not. I’m not sure.
So, I received white boxers with blue whales on them, Godiva chocolate bars (because I’m eating a lot of it to keep me going during long workdays), and noise-reducing headphones to protect my Tobramycin-damaged hearing while I use power tools.
Best of all, my wife wrote a long note all about me and how great I am. I wrote back right away and asked who she was writing about and how I’d like to meet the guy who does all of this stuff.
I’m not going to post the entire letter here, as I don’t think I can live up to the high bar it sets, but here is one of my favorite quotes: “The father who quizzes us on how to spot potentially unsavory characters on the street and what we should do in any potentially risky situations.”
You bet I do, baby. And you better pass that quiz each time. Keep your eyes open for those “unsavory” types, though I’m not sure I’ve ever used the word “unsavory,” which makes me think of poorly cooked food, not scumbags.
This reminds me of one of the first dates I was on with my future wife. I had a black soft-top Jeep Wrangler and we were in West LA stop and go traffic and one of them thar’ (cowboy voice) “unsavory” types approached my honey bunny while we were waiting at a light. With no windows on the Jeep and no six-shooter at my hip, I had to use my highly advanced communication skills to defuse the situation.
“BACK OFF, dickweed,” I said.
What did he call me?
© igor – Fotolia.com
Being that my wife is a nice catholic girl and lived a sheltered life, her first question was, “What’s a dickweed?”
It was a really tough question. And I wasn’t sure how to answer it. But I guess my overpowering delivery won her heart and she stayed with me. I’ll never understand why, but then it’s never a good idea to question or analyze love.
It just is, and I’m lucky I have it.
The Unknown Cystic 
I bet you sounded just like Raylan when you delivered that line too!!
Sounds like you had a great Father’s Day…as you should.
Larry,
You get me. Raylan would have been proud of the way I backed down that a**hole. A look and a few words equaled a bad beating coming his way. He chose not to experience it.
UC
Mmmmm, Godiva. And, just how are your lovely ladies supposed to respond to a man with a brown bag on his head?? 😉 I’d say that is unsavory since there is no tasty lunch inside. 😀 Hope you had a great
Father’s Day!
Jodi,
So, strange, I feel like we’ve met. Hmm, where? Can’t remember. Kidding. Thanks for checking in. Hope you are doing well.
UC
Dear Madman of LAShire,
“BACK OFF, dickweed” ???
Are you sure you said this? After all, you are the geezer that once shouted,
“Hey you guys” when someone was acting a little suspicious around your wife’s car. 😮
Nice presents by the way.
Sir Sean
Sir Sean,
On this one, I speak the truth. I used to be in better shape and my tongue was quick and sharp. Clearly, getting older has made me dumber and less articulate with scum.
UC