The economy + an uncertain future + daughter’s future education costs + corporate cost cutting and waiting for the return of Queen for a Day

My wife and I spent some quality time at the dining room table this weekend pouring over what it would cost to move. Over the years, we’ve resisted moving up like many of our friends have. Thank you, cystic fibrosis, for that decision, as my wife needs to be able to afford a house payment on her own and not be straddled by debt.

So, we looked over the numbers. And as much as I want to move, there’s no way around the costs associated with moving, e.g. agent commission, movers, etc.

And then there is the weight of carrying debt. It’s heavy when you’re allergic to it.

The bank offered us a boatload of cash for a loan, or at least it feels like a boatload to us. And we had to laugh because why would we want the stress of starting a 30-year loan with a big payment right now?

Damn, I can get this stove on Amazon for 28 bucks and change. Yeah, baby. I may need it for boiling nebs if we remodel.

Big payment = hello, soup kitchen line.

We factored in our daughter’s future education needs, the current economy and both of us working for large corporations. We’re convinced there’s someone at our companies fresh out of business school looking at numbers and thinking how he or she can save the company big bucks by sending more human capital to the unemployment line. Or by outsourcing our jobs to monkeys – my job at least.

Uncertain economy + uncertain employment by large companies + my uncertain future = staying put.

Now our conversation has moved to upgrading our house – security wall with razor wire first; kitchen second. But totaling up what it will cost us for a new kitchen is causing my wallet to pucker up.

Mormon dream or old TV show?

We had a contractor over and we’ve worked up a kitchen budget. The sound you hear is me gagging on 35K of kitchen debt.

Here’s my new plan: I need to go on The Price Is Right and win a new kitchen. But then I’d have to pay taxes on my winnings. Damn you, Taxman, the Beatles were right.

If only Queen for a Day was still on and my wife could tell a pathetic story and win a refrigerator because God knows a new appliance makes any woman’s hardship vanish.

Here’s the story my wife could tell on Queen for a Day: My husband won’t do dishes or cook. He made me watch every minute of the movie Melancholia. He won’t let me drive when he’s in the car. He’s called me “grumpy” during my special time of month (audience gasps). He’s missing a few bricks upstairs and roams the house saying, “I’m the McGriddler; Batman ain’t got nothing on me.” And he’s so ugly, he wears a paper bag on his head.

Damn, after writing that, I think she wins. I’m buying her a new dishwasher for Christmas. I am the McGriddler and I make the magic happen – one appliance at a time.

8 thoughts on “The economy + an uncertain future + daughter’s future education costs + corporate cost cutting and waiting for the return of Queen for a Day

    • Matt Hatter,

      After reading the book you sent me and the sequel, which are two of my favorite books, I believe we haven’t changed much from Medieval times. And the revolution has started here and is growing.


  1. 2 kids in college
    1 of those kids w/CF +
    Crazy mom who’s never moving, remodeling, or even buying a security camera. I feel your pain.

    • Margie,

      I don’t know how you do it. Your financial burden is greater. If there is any bright spot for you, it’s that you won’t be paying what college will cost in 9 years. We were trying to guesstimate this weekend and it was so high for UCLA that I don’t know how anyone will be able to afford it. Now I know why today’s graduates are upset. They amass a ton of debt and can’t get a good job.

      Spring for one video camera. Treat yourself. 🙂


  2. The mouse-wheel really does suck. We’re all on it, just peddling away to keep our heads afloat and not really getting the satisfaction we’re looking for. Hmmm, well your wifey of course deserves the kitchen of her dreams, but ‘deserving’ doesn’t really cut it anymore, does it?

    Hmmm…have you thought of a barbie fun-house along with gourmet kitchen? She could keep it on her nightstand and enjoy the view.

    Im not going to mention that lottery winnings in Oz are not subject to taxes, because that would be just cruel. But I will buy you a ticket this evening – just in case your luck hasn’t completely run out!

    • Karyn,

      Yes, mouse wheel. Very true. I’m on it.

      Lottery winnings not subject to tax? What a great country. Hold it, are you talking about Oz or AUS? Yes, please buy me a “winning” ticket. No losers, thanks.


      • In fact I purchased you two, I had my husband read them to ensure legitimacy and a lack of bias due to personal association. Both were duds. Some things never change!

      • Karyn,

        I suspect one of the tickets was a winner and you’re living high on the hog now using my ticket, which is why you didn’t post for a few weeks. Please send me a check or I’ll hunt the three of you down on the island you bought with the winnings.


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