“You’re not who you think you are, you’re who others think you are.”
I love that quote. I think of it everyday. And it has new relevance now that I’ve put my thoughts down in a blog. There is who I think I am, and the person I am perceived to be online, on this blog. I’m not sure they are the same person.
Here’s why . . .
Today, I received an email from a friend about a post I’d written a few days ago. In it, I stated that my doctor thought I might have thyroid problems. In thinking out loud, I wrote that I thought there might be a connection between the large amounts of broccoli, cabbage and broccoli sprouts that I had been eating and my thyroid levels. I had researched it on the Internet and there were some articles on the connection of cruciferous vegetables and thyroid levels.
I was excited because I thought I had uncovered what had been ailing me for three weeks and which had driven me to the ER on a Friday afternoon.
In the hospital this week, my thyroid was fine. The doctor did tell me to stop eating the excessive amount of broccoli that I’ve been eating, as nothing in excess is good for you, and to make sure it was cooked to ensure the thyroid limiting part got destroyed. (Do not interpret this paragraph as medical advice.)
My friend pointed out that she had people who were concerned because of what they read and their consumption of broccoli sprouts and thyroid issues. She asked me to post something more on the subject and clarify.
I was torn on what to do. First, I’m very grateful for anyone who shows up at this blog and reads it. We all have limited time in our lives and the fact someone reads what I write, well, I don’t take that lightly. I care about the people who visit.
However, and I think I’ve said this before and state it in the disclaimer, this is an entertainment site, arguably, depending on your taste in humor. It is NOT a site where one should look to find medical advice.
I think out loud a lot and share what is going on in my life as it is happening and in the heat of the battle. I never give advice, unless it is by accident, which it seems, in this case, it was.
I have cystic fibrosis and feel the stress of trying to stay alive, maintain my health and heath insurance and work in a high-stress job in a cut-throat environment where I have to perform at a high level to maintain my ability to work from my home and support my family. It is a tenuous existence.
I constantly feel the walls closing in on me. And, yes, there are times when I feel like giving up and I share those moments on this site. I worry a lot, but this site allows me to blow off steam.
So, again, I’m torn. I feel bad that anything I wrote would cause anyone to be concerned or afraid. That is not the intent of this site. I removed that part of the original post.
I know I will repeat this type of situation in the future and write something that someone takes too seriously. Please don’t. Remember the source. My only expertise is in insanity. And, I am barely hanging on to what modicum of sanity I have left these days. There is no combination of symptoms I can type into Google and not get the answer I’m looking for to confirm my own diagnosis.
The best source of information on any medical condition is your doctor. That is one of the few times you’ll ever hear me offer anything close to advice.
This experience has also made me rethink posting anything on my upcoming experience with BITC. I don’t need the stress of trying to walk the fine line of stating what I’m going through and having someone follow in my footsteps. Nor do I want to receive another email that someone is afraid. I feel sad I can’t share it now.
This situation reminds me of how those of us with cystic fibrosis search for anything that can help us, and the position it puts each of us in to become our own doctors. This is not a site to find that type of information. Clearly, some CF bloggers relish the role of advising others with cystic fibrosis. I admire and respect them. After all of these years, I have learned how much I don’t know and to keep quiet. Or at least I thought I did.
I post this post due to the great respect I have for my friend and readers. And the support I received this week while I was in the hospital made me get choked up. I truly appreciate the good wishes from wonderful people fighting CF or with children fighting CF. Respect to all of you.
This will be, most likely, the last time I pull something I wrote and write a post like this. I feel like everyone has been warned more than once about the following:
Crazy person under extreme pressure at the helm. Consult your doctor regarding any medical decisions or advice.
This is one of those situations when I wish I had told my wife about the blog. I’d like her advice, but I know what she’d tell me: “Take it down. Take the whole thing down.”