I can’t say that I’d choose hemoptysis over the fear of it – coughing up blood rocks my world and I hate it. The fear of hemoptysis, however, is starting to impact my life. The last two times I sprung a leak were related to walking up a hill and stairs. In fact, the latter happened walking to clinic, which allowed me to pass “GO” and move directly to “x-ray” on the CF Clinic Monopoly board.
Both recent episodes have come as a surprise, as always, but during events that in the past didn’t cause bleeding.
Now I adjust my activities due to a fear of bleeding. I haven’t done cardio for months; I avoid stairs or walk up them slowly. Disneyland last week caused me great fits of stress when I walked up hills (not as flat I remember when I didn’t worry about drenching Mickey with blood, which would ruin a few photos but end up a hit on Youtube.com). The thought of bleeding in the Magic Kingdom and disrupting my family trip was a heavy weight to carry around.
I know I’m lucky and have no reason to complain, but isn’t it human to always want more? Or at least to want to be normal and not worry about coughing up blood in public places?