One of the biggest decisions of my life

I’m stressing. I have to decide whether to change jobs. My answer is due Tuesday.

I’ve been with the same company for 15 years. It’s a large global company and one of the most recognized brands in the world. And it’s been great to me. I’ve worked out of my house and the pay and benefits have been fantastic. With cystic fibrosis, it has been the perfect job.

In return, I’ve worked hard for the company. It’s been beneficial for both of us.

But . . .

After 15 years in the same position, and because the headquarters is located on the east coast, and I’m on the west, the work has become tedious. And the process to innovate is painful. Creativity grinds to a halt. That’s the downside. It’s also not much of a challenge.

A few months ago, one of the smaller companies we hire to help us with large projects, approached me to work for them. As I was working on a major event at the time, and didn’t want to leave and hurt my current team, I postponed the conversation.

Well the project ended and they made me a formal offer this week. I have until Tuesday to decide. The pay is better and I get a nice signing bonus. And I can work out of my home. And the work is exciting and envelope-pushing. And they want me for my creativity, which appeals to me a great deal.

Yes, I have a tiny bit of ego in my head, I guess.

If it weren’t for cystic fibrosis, I’d jump ship right now. Take the risk. But the overall benefits are not as good as I have now. I still need to check out the health care in detail this weekend, but I do know the prescriptions will cost twice as much. And I have a possible pension I’m giving up by leaving now.

Will I really live to see that pension? Can I grind out the years it would take to get to retirement?

I’ll stop there. I like change. I hate big decisions.

To be continued . . .

16 thoughts on “One of the biggest decisions of my life

  1. Whoa, that is a big decision. It completely sucks when the insurance plan can play such a role in our decisions. I wish you good luck and I look forward to the update.

    • Yo, Ronnie,

      Nice to hear from you. Yep, there are days I wish CF was not a factor in my life. I would never want not to know about it and raise money to help others. But having it . . . well, I wish it didn’t impact every decision. But what can I do. I’m pretty lucky despite it.

      Best to you and the family,


  2. WOW, big conundrum! I know how you feel about needing the creativity, it is fulfilling. I wish you the best with your decision, I know you’ll do what is best for you in the end. Good luck!

  3. My gut says you should go for it! I hate that these practical issues can have so much bearing on our careers. Check out the long/short term disability plans. Please keep us posted!

    • Hey, Stacey,

      My gut says the same thing. I need a new challenge in life. They will allow me to work from the hospital, so ST disability should be okay. But the LT disability is not as good as what I have now. It doesn’t make the decision easy. Please write a follow up blog post soon.

      Best, John

  4. As a wife of a hard worker like yourself, I vote for your happiness over practicality. The “better” corporate job with better benefits was ruining our lives. It’s heart breaking to have a miserable, stressed out spouse. And as a friend I’d like to see you on the happier side of things too. Happiness is a crucial part of staying healthy.

    • Margie,

      You are too kind. Thank you. I’ve managed to stay happy during the past 15 years, but the last two have been a grind. The rules, processes to be followed. It’s become suffocating and not very challenging. But you are right about happiness because it feels like the new job will have more creativity and the ability to push projects in the direction I feel is best. So, Happy I will be. 🙂

      All well with your clan? I hope so.


  5. Hey John,
    Margie, Stacey and your other blog friends have given some very good advice and it seems in your reply to Margie that your decision has been made. Not much more I can say except these decisions are never easy to come by (especially the work related life changing types) but you are a very intelligent person (Yes! You are!) and I feel certain you will make the right one. Sorry that CF has to be a factor in this. Wishing you the very, very best.

    Oh yeah, nice win by the Broncos yesterday too!


    • Hello, Larry,

      First, your Falcons QB really killed me yesterday in my fantasy league. I will not speak his name today.

      Regarding the job, the choice to stay is winning right now. The benefits and total compensation are too strong. So, I’m going to have to counter and ask for more. However, and this is the interesting part, the choice, in a way, comes down to if I plan on living or dying. I may write a blog post on this. I don’t know how to describe it right now. But staying protects me against bad things in the future. Leaving means I plan on living and to forget about some benefits like life insurance and improved disability. In a way, if I could have an accidental death while traveling on business right now, I’d provide very well for my family. But I wouldn’t be there to see it. Ah, the conundrum.

      Good to hear from you.


  6. My gut told me I had to poop, then it said You should jump ship and go with something new that You are excited about. Then I started thinking about it and decided to only listen to my guts about GI issues. I have always been afraid of having kids because I would not be able to provide/or be around at all. Taking care of your family is very important, and us CFers can’t always do that. Your lucky that You have been able to have a family and had a good job that has provided.

    You will make either work for you and your family.


    • Hey, Colin,

      What would I do without you, my virtual magic 8 ball. I appreciate your comment because it reminded me how lucky I am to have a choice like this one. Thanks for keeping me honest and focused on the positive and appreciate for what I have.

      Best as always to you,


  7. First time reader and first time commenter and since I’m a newbie, I probably shouldn’t be giving my two cents… BUT I really love what I’ve read so far and felt compelled to reply. My husband has CF. To make a long story short, we do not make decisions based on the fact that he has CF – his diagnosis has never stopped us from pursuing our goals. I realize there may come a time when this philosophy has to change, but we’ll try our best to keep achieving our goals and doing the things we love. In fact, many of his coworkers do not know that he has CF and I’ve never mentioned it to any of my coworkers (though I’m very close to them). Some family members/friends aren’t even aware. He’s always told me that the disease doesn’t define him and he doesn’t want to be treated differently because of a diagnosis. I respect that and it’s one of the reasons I married him. What I’m trying to say (and doing an awful job of it), is there are too many ‘what ifs’ in life and if we spent our time fearing the unknown and planning for the worst, we wouldn’t really be living. Go for the job! 🙂

    • Colleen,

      The best part of having a blog is having a close group of virtual friends who read it. I’m glad you found it and took the time to write such a wonderful and helpful comment. Your timing is perfect. I believe your husband and I would see eye to eye on a lot of subjects. The first being, not telling everyone about CF. I have kept it a secret from my co workers for 15 years. Only the managers know because they have to know when I go in the hospital.

      Now here’s the really cool part of your comment and why it meant so much to me: My wife gave me similar advice about making the decision without CF getting in the way. So to hear from you and know another couple is out there using the philosophy/strategy is very helpful.

      I’m grateful for your comment and you’ve made my day. Thank you for that.

      Best regards,


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