Lightning Strike


Having cystic fibrosis is like getting struck by lightning on a sunny day.

Where did that come from? the onlookers say. I don’t see any burn marks, where’s the damage? Did that really just happen?

There I was, living my life, feeling good, not a care in the world. Then, BAM, lightning bolt to the arse. How embarrassing.

I had made it out alive through the holidays, with their rainy days, crowds looking at Rose Parade floats, and the mass of tourists and humanity at the Farmer’s Market in L.A.

I dodged a cold that infected my daughter, then my wife.

I was made of steel. Rock solid.

I refinished a kitchen table. I started building a bench from reclaimed wood. I could have been a lumberjack and toppled trees with my manly bare hands.

Then I went for PFTs.

And failed. With a capital “L” for loser.

Blow, blow, blow, keep it going. Go, go, go. Take a breath. ARGGHHHHHHHHHHH.

Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200, but do collect your suitcase, iPad, UCLA t-shirt, laptop, stash of reserve meds, and nebs.

You’re going in.

Roger, five-zero to base. We’re over the drop zone. Jump, jump, jump.

And here I am five days later, an IV pump humming its annoying song next to me. And the drone of the hospital that reminds me of flying on a plane. Bite me.

The icing on the cake of pain was watching my Broncos choke when they had a 97% chance of winning at the end of regulation.

Oh, the blood. The suffering. The heartbreak.

That’s what I get for wearing metal pants.

10 thoughts on “Lightning Strike

  1. Dear Madman of LAShire,

    Hope the new port is making IV’s a little bit easier for your stay in Klink?
    CF sure is a sneaky little A hole!
    Sending healing vibes from a snowy East coast of the Mother Shire.
    Sir Sean

  2. UC,
    Here I was hoping you were enjoying life post holidays with little time to sit and write on your blog. Next time wear some insulated boots or something! So sorry CF has reared its very ugly head on you again but wishing you a very speedy recovery and back to your craftiness of sorts.

    Sorry about your Broncos loss too. Was hoping Peyton would pull it out in OT but now he (along with the fans) will have it to stew over until next season. Any chance you might be able to help me get my Falcons a win Sunday? Maybe lightning will strike the 49ers?!?!

    Best regards and get better real soon.

    • Larry,

      I have been very lazy with my blog these days. Glad you’re still sticking around. Today’s your big day: Go Falcons. Good luck.

      Sorry, what loss? I just underwent shock therapy and am having trouble with my short-term memory.


    • Jenny,

      So good to hear from you. I wish I had thought of that, I would have used it in the post. We’re just lucky I guess. What can’t I win the lotto?

      Wishing you a healthy 2013. Please note that I always think of you posing with superheroes after that post a few months ago.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s