Many years ago, during one of my last business trips to Germany, I went to a grocery store to buy chocolate. As I was waiting to pay, a wall of cigarettes next to the conveyor belt stared back at me. They were impossible to miss, and not locked away like they are in the states.
Anyone buying groceries could see and touch them, even children.
The display bothered me and gave me a sense of hopelessness about cigarette smoking disappearing from our global economy. I grew up with two parents smoking. So, feeling defeated, I decided, “if you can’t beat them, join them.”
And I did. But not by turning into a smoker.
When I returned to the states, I bought Altria/Philip Morris stock, which we own to this day. If people were going to ruin their lungs smoking, I wanted to benefit from it. So, now my wife and I look at smokers and hope they’re sucking on a PM brand cigarette and helping our stock go up.
And, after spending five days in Las Vegas this week, I can report back that smoking is still in fashion and our stock’s future looks bright. Every casino we walked through to get to a show smelled like an ashtray, except the Bellagio, which has a great filtration system. I even made the choice not to gamble, despite my love of it, because I didn’t want to smell or inhale cigarette smoke.
We found ways to avoid the secondhand smoke and walked miles each day to discover cool places. And for the first time in several trips, I didn’t have c-diff or cough up blood – a huge win.
I also checked off two items from my bucket list. I took my wife and daughter to see Love at the Mirage. And, we finally saw “O” at the Bellagio. I heart Cirque du Soleil.
We went to see David Copperfield at the MGM. He could use some help from Cirque du Soleil. A video stream of old quotes about his magnificent past played before the show and reminded us that he was once the greatest magician in the world. Past tense. Now he’s average and tells a lot of crude jokes. We still enjoyed some of the great tricks he had left in his bag.
Oh, and I ate goat, my own Food Network-like moment. It didn’t taste like chicken, but was good despite its greasy, fatty qualities.
Here are some pictures from the week.
We had a rocking good time here.
Pete Rose was signing autographs in the Mirage Mall. No wait to meet him. The guy in the Rose jersey works at the store. My wife pointed out the "oddness" of someone who bet on baseball signing autographs outside a casino. Please don't let this guy into the Hall of Fame.
The Mirage houses a cool dolphin and big cat exhibition. But after seeing "The Cove," I had a hard time getting excited about dolphins in captivity. I kept wondering how they got there and if swimming in circles in a small pool was the best place for them.
The Bellagio had an amazing spring display in their atrium. Lots of flowers, a ferris wheel and butterfly house.
Harrah's Casino took a different route with its spring display.
Not everything that happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. When you're a lion looking for some afternoon delight, and 200 tourists with cameras are watching, it makes its way to the Internet.
I dig Hipstamatic. It gives a display of heads some bonus creepiness.
Who are these scary "O" fans?
We went to Adventuredome at Circus Circus and had a great time playing games and winning the world's cheapest-quality stuffed animals. This picture is from the parking garage elevator. It's not everyday you see handwritten numbers for the floors. Nothing says "this is a quality establishment" quite like magic markers.
The best part of the trip? McDonald's in the hotel. Jackpot.
The Unknown Cystic 
I’m loving that you had a fun trip with no major health crisis! That’s the best thing I’ve heard all day…
I hate when smoking addicts screw with my gambling addiction too
Stacey,
I guess I better reply to your comment first this time or my customer service dept. will get another complaint. I bet you I don’t have a gambling problem.
UC
my port isn’t beeping anymore 😦
Stina,
Was Jersey Boys appropriate for a nine-year-old? Or did it have adult content? Just thinking of the next trip.
UC
I think it’s fine – i haven’t seen it in a while, but I can’t seem to recall any inappropriate stuff. There was some adult content, but it seemed relatively mild. You might want to search online for reviews. I love the music : )
Thanks, Stina,
I always like to get the scoop from someone who has been there. Sometimes online reviews are misleading.
UC
It certainly brought a smile to my face this morning to read about your trip, I’m glad you managed to get away after your latest stint in klink. It looks like you and the family had a brilliant time. I was talking to someone at work on Friday who had just got back from Vegas, I wonder if your paths crossed at all?
Sir Sean,
Clearly, you’re a fan of humping lions. They put on quite a show in their glass cage. Not sure if I crossed paths with your friend, but I did see a British man with a “I hearted the Queen” t-shirt passed out in the street one night.
UC
I was so hoping you were getting some much needed R&R and not sick again. Bravo! Happy to hear it. You know, I’ve never been to Vegas, in part due to the smoke issue… That tip on the Bellagio is one I’ll remember.
Mal,
The Bellagio is very nice. The new Aria is fantastic and without the smoky smell. It has high ceilings.
Glad to see you on Twitter. Start tweeting. 🙂
UC
Glad you were able to enjoy yourself with out CF ruining the fun. Seems like a clever scheme to buy cigarette stock. I’m shocked at how many people still smoke, especially college students. Take care.
Dr. Nanos,
Somehow, it feels like a victory when I see smokers and know they’re going to pay for my daughter’s college education.
I can’t believe your comment about college students, though I know it’s true. In this day and age? Hard to believe.
UC
I’m late on my comment… sorry!
Glad you were able to enjoy Vegas, land of the smokers. The couple of times we have been there we just totally couldn’t enjoy because of all the bleeping smokers. I wish we had done some cool shows – they seem super fun!
And I couldn’t help but stare at your pic of the “scary O fans” a bunch because I’m guessing it’s you and Unknown daughter and it’s the most of a glimpse we’ve gotten of you… hmmmm, looks like brown hair, white shirt, dark pants…. you probably deliberately took this picture with masks knowing you could use it on here as a cool new tactic instead of the bag over the head. I’m on to you.
Liz,
I cracked up when I read your comment. Thank you. I cannot say who the two Unknowns are in the picture. But I can say someone’s wife will be very surprised one day when she discovers the real reason a masked picture was taken.
Yes, smokers suck in Vegas. It’s terrible. I didn’t gamble at all, which is odd for me. I love to, but it wasn’t worth it after the recent hospital stay. But the shows were worth it.
Thanks for the laugh,
UC