61-second Rant: McDonald’s Caramel Frappé

Every day I order my McGriddle, I am bedazzled by posters of the car-a-mel frappé, with its drizzled caramel and brain-tissue-like mound of whipped cream. I sit idling in the drive thru in awe, wondering who needs something like this to get going in the morning. Willy Wonka?

McDairy Queen? Photo rights are mine.

Caramel frappé images haunt me in my sleep.

At what point did morning coffee morph into morning dessert? My grandfather, who drank Folgers from a Mr. Coffee machine every day, wouldn’t have put anything called frappé near his lips. He didn’t need a dessert to get rolling in the morning. He drank real coffee, not a Dairy Queen treat disguised as coffee.

I feel bad for anyone who has a weight problem when I see products and advertising like this. The subliminal and overt messages can crush anyone’s willpower over time.  The caramel frappé exemplifies the excessive and unnecessary caloric intake that has infected our food supply.

Science tells us that we eat dessert last because that’s how out taste buds work. We eat meat, broccoli, and potatoes first for a reason. Sweet foods come second when our taste buds need a jolt to get excited enough to eat more food. Problems develop when dessert becomes our main course three times a day.

We will never cure our healthcare challenges until we say no to caramel frappés and other common foods pumped up by sugar steroids. I’m not suggesting we close the McD’s and Dairy Queens of the world. I love cherry Dilly Bars like my yellow lab loves carrots. I’m asking that we draw a line in the sand of our food supply. Leave the sweets to DQ and the Big Macs to McDonalds; keep coffee black, and whipped cream and caramel on sundaes.

And never mess with the McGriddle.

Stay well.


8 thoughts on “61-second Rant: McDonald’s Caramel Frappé

    • That bun you speak of is a frigging work of art. I wish you could buy them at the store in a bag like English Muffins.

      I’d make a roast beef sandwich in that bun, with Gouda cheese.

    • 🙂

      Hey, you, we must have been reading each other’s blogs at the same time. Really like your latest post. 30 is old? Oh, my. You haven’t seen anything yet. Now I feel ancient.

      Thanks for the visit and comment. Best to you and the family.

  1. Denis Leary did a great stand up bit about Coffee in 1997 that still hold true today. Go to youtube and check it out.

    You know what the best thing about those adds are? That probably isn’t even frothy goodness. It’s most likely some foam look a like the photographs better for ads.

    Still makin’ me chuckle, UK.

    • Josh,

      Thanks for the heads up about the Leary clip. I’ll check it out.

      You’re right about the whipped cream. I bet it is something else. Probably mashed potatoes.

      Thanks for the compliment, comment and visit.

      BTW, guess what arrived today from Amazon? When my wife and daughter asked about it I just had to say “it’s a long story.” 🙂


  2. Who times your rants? I have this image of you sat at the desk, stop watch in hand laughing to yourself, until you look at the time it took 63.75 seconds, s**t how can I cut it down to 61 exactly? 😀 BTW I checked out Bob Flanagan on you tube, humour & a smile, I think he laid down and looked at the sky on a regular basis. Take care

    • You’re cracking me up, my friend. Very funny. I don’t time them. One day, I’m going to write a massive blog entry and call it a 23-second rant. I know someone who will tweet me about it the next day, chewing my ass. 🙂

      I really dig your line about Bob Flanigan. Very true. Very true. I think he did. And when he did, stuff fell out, like clouds. 🙂

      Appreciate the comments.

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