What a fun day – the panic attacks started early and I tried to fight them off, but there is only so much I could do.  Like a giant wave, one engulfed me in the late afternoon with such an intensity that I thought I was having a heart attack or one of my lungs had collapsed.  I was convinced of it.

I’ll never understand how my mind can overrule itself.  I know it’s possibly a panic attack, but my mind is reading the physical symptoms and telling me something major is wrong.  Had to resort to half a xanax and felt like such a wimp.

That’s the downside of cf and aging – you have to constantly read the signals your body gives you.  Am I SOB?  Is that chest pain? Are all systems functioning properly? There’s a lot to monitor constantly.

Add to that the stress of work today, and “bam” I got churned in the whitewater.